I tooted in a DS’s face

Mailed blog – written by Julian

11 Feb 11

I know, I know.  Where’s my military bearing, right?  And second, gross.  True.  But, you really gotta keep things light and airy around here.  So, when we get off the firing range they make us empty our pockets, take all our gear off, and get ready for a pat down.  The drill sergeants all come around, go through your stuff, and rough you up.  Here’s the drill:  DS comes up to you.  You say, “No brass, no ammo, DS.”  They pat you down on the front, tell you to “whirl”, where you spin around and say “KILL!”, preparing for a pat down on the back.  Well, today I guess I “whirled” a little too hard and a toot slipped out!  Yikes!  Just as I tooted, the DS bent down to search my gear.  Thus, the head to rear proximity was right on.  I was dying giggling on the inside, but you know it, kept my military bearing.  If I was a mouthy or male private, I’m sure he would have called me out on it, but he didn’t.  Just as he walked away though I heard him say to the group, “Privates, y’all really have got to stop farting.”  Whoops, he heard it.  I know, why am I sharing this?  Cause I’m a sharer and you just have to laugh at yourself, especially in tough situations like this.

So, before the toot toot incident, we had our final qualification for Advanced Rifle Marksmanship.  They like you to aim (ha, ha) for 7 out of 15 kills, but it’s not mandatory.  There were seven targets and each required 2 to 5 shots to be “killed”.  The targets ranged from 50 to 300 meters away.  We got 3 magazines of 10 rounds to do our killin and we had to shoot from three different positions; kneeling, standing and on your stomach, all behind a barrier.  Adding to the craziness is that you’re timed, there’s a DS right there yanking you around by the handle on your armor vest, and…each magazine had a dummy round which jammed your rifle.  So three times during the exercise you had to fix your weapon and get it back working.  Man, what an adrenaline rush!  I got 6 kills, which isn’t 7, but it was average.  Next week it’s all about running and shootin, shootin on the run!.

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2 Responses to I tooted in a DS’s face

  1. Angela Young says:

    You are hilarious Julian!! I just love a good toot story…thanks for sharing. Made me giggle out loud:-)

  2. Kim Fenske says:

    Comedic relief….priceless!

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